Training for...

Training...seems like I'm always training. An upcoming marathon, training. Pacing at marathon X, training...even in #heartfailure I find myself training!
Seems like I've been 'training' ever since the late 70's/early 80's... Sure there have been blocks of time where I wouldn't run/workout...3, 6 months maybe, but in the back of my mind, and my 'diet', always training. Sometimes I think life would have been a bit easier had I just been a lazy fat guy...able to eat Doritos, and come home after work to 4 hours of NASCAR or...or whatever fat/lazy guys watch. ...but, always a race/workout/goal to get after...I supposed it's just how I'm wired.
So why the post on 'training'? I have a new goal, and a new training theory...ready for this?
Last August, while hanging out in ICU at the Heart Hospital, I was all set for an LVAD...numbers were bad enough, heart scarred/dilated enough where this was my journey...'in a week' was what the surgeon told us. 
'One more test'...you've heard me say that before, right? Stress-test on the treadmill. Nice...bring that shit on...I LIVE for treadmill workouts! VO2 Max on this particular test was 44...nice. No LVAD! Now, did I roll 44 because I was in '44' shape? ...or maybe because I've spent hours and hours pounding on the treadmill over the years...or am I just that stubborn? Whatever the reason, off the LVAD list for now!
Over the past 18 months, I think I've done 4, maybe 5, treadmill stress-tests. 
60 (I don't remember this one...)...48, 46, 42...and now 32. As my numbers continue to drop, this will/should indicate when the LVAD comes knocking at my door. ...and frankly, I need to wait as long as possible! After the LVAD surgery, I'll keep the device 3-5 years before my transplant...then roughly 10 years with the new heart...and that's it. SO, I'm going to do my best to keep rocking the stress-tests, or should I say 'manipulate' the test results.
How can you manipulate the results, Mr. Wizard? Well, theory time... I am training FOR the stress test! I've done it enough to know the sequence of speed and elevation, and what I need to be training for...are you following me?
Wanna run fast, you run fast. Wanna race a marathon, you TRAIN for a marathon. Want to ROCK a treadmill stress test, you TRAIN for the test...
Part of my training is gonna be hard, as running in general is tough on me, however, the power-walking part of the test at elevation, DONE.
Another cardiologist visit on Dec. 6th where I would assume I'll get to jump on the tread...so this time, I'll be ready! SO hard for me to push the QUIT button when I'm done, and I was really disappointed in myself for pushing the 'button' too soon last time...I'm such a pansy...suck it up, dick.

This was my workout/power-walk from yesterday, a new KEY workout in my training plan. 
LifeTime in Lakeville, working through 12 hill repeats, 5 minutes each. 2 minutes at 9% elevation, 2 at 12%...and 1 at 15%. Speed anywhere from 4.1-4.4. Solid workout, and I was able to keep my HR under 130 the whole time. 1:05:04 total time with the cool down. A lot of strength training along with working on my visualization, I'll be ready when it's time to jump back on the tread for Dr. H.
Treadmill stress-test...it's what all the cool kids are doing!
____________________________________________________________________________

I guess while I have you here, I may as well capture the moment and continue on my quest of listing my 25 best/favorite running related moments.
#12...ready for this one? July 26th, 2008...LumberJack 10 Miler in Stillwater, MN.
Remember this one? What a fun race...FAST race. They would bus you up and out of dowtown Stillwater to some park 10 miles away. Flat/open for the first 6 miles, then the course offered a crazy/quick downhill, with a gradual downhill from 6.5-9.5ish. I could MapMyRun the course, but frankly, I'm just lazy.
I brought a group of East Metro runners I was coaching at the time to the race, along with my daughter, who was almost 3, as she LOVED to ride in the baby-jogger while I ran...so racing, here we come!
I don't remember a lot of the race...I think 'we' were running at 6:20-6:25 pace through 6...and I was feeling amazing. Legs were solid, breathing was good...singing with Torun as we ran. Such a good rider...
As we got to the downhill section of the course, it was 'hold-on'...the jogger just wanted to GO, and as we got to 7 and beyond, we were rockin'!
I remember passing a group of 5-6 runners at roughly 9 miles, easily running sub 6 minute pace at this point, while pushing a 45 pound package.
Came around the final 2 corners towards the finish, still rolling...
Before the race I was thinking we could run sub 1:05, but we ended up at 1:02:18 for a 6:14 average. 30th overall out of 1107 athletes. ...and I felt AMAZING from start to finish! Maybe had we 'raced' the first 6 more than we did, maybe sub 1:00, but I'll take the 1:02 and change!
Days like these are the ones you want to bottle and use at your next race, but alas, they don't come along very often. 
What did I learn from this race? Well, nothing, frankly. Firm believer in that we learn SO much more from UG LY races, knowing what to do, what not to do, and the end result from race-day decisions. All I learned from this race is that we were FAST...and we rocked this course...and to spend a quality morning with my daughter in the process, priceless!
RESULTS

Race #13 COUNTDOWN

25 DAYS AND COUNTING...COUNTING DOWN!
RACE #13
Thanks for being patient with the blog. This summer I had this brilliant idea of writing about my top 25 running 'moments' and/or memories, 25 'stories' beginning 25 days before the final race in the Leadman series. Well, after the wheels fell off racing this past summer, so did my ambitious quest to write everyday for 25 days. Well, the dust has settled and I figured it was about time to finish this damn list. I have the 'list' scribbled on a legal pad so I know the order of what's to come...the races, the crazy stories...and I feel like I'm ready to continue!
When I started writing in March/April of 2018, it was so easy...the words just poured out of me. I had all of this raw emotion, all the loss just made it easy to write...and I did! Sometimes I would write honestly with my heart on my sleeve, only to delete it the next day. Some of those posts, however, are still posted... Lately, and I don't want to say that it's a 'writer's block', because I'm not smart enough to be able to write deep enough to begin with, but I'm writing with less focus, less hurt...I hope that makes sense, and I hope you still enjoy the stories.
When I first found out I was in #heartfailure, it was hard on me...the posts about 'why me', the emotional posts looking for some guidance, well it was easy to write. ...but now that the dust has settled and I know my plan, and I'm truly fine with the plan, I'm not as emotional, knowing that this is my journey.
So, shall we continue? Race/memory #13. A tough race, with a better Honorable Mention.
Let's go back 16 years, the 2003 Grandma's Marathon. I have mixed emotions about Grandma's...I have run fast there, but over the past 15 years or so, the weather never seemed to cooperate. 2003, 2005, 2007...hot, DAMN hot, and it would seem the years when I DIDN'T run, 43 with a tail wind (slight exaggeration), but you get the idea.
2003, and I'm training well, though I hadn't raced much...maybe a 1:16+ half marathon in Louisiana, a low 16 5K, but nothing crazy, BUT, training was going well. ...and as I would tell athletes, if you have no idea what kind of shape you're in and you race a marathon and your 'guess' is off, you're gonna have a tough day. Hell, I told myself, I feel like I'm in 2:45-2:50 shape, though why I thought that, I have no idea. I hit the 10K split maybe a titch too fast (38:46...6:14 pace) and hit the half in 1:24 flat, but it was getting hot, and humid! By mile 16-17, it was getting UG LY, and as most runners do, you try to be logical with your time... "Well maybe I can still run 2:50...nope...3:00, think not..."...and so it went. The last 10 miles are a blur to me, SO hot, so much walking/jogging...such an ugly day, rivals only my Chicago of 2010(?), another hot day where I completely fell apart. This day at Grandma's I was still able to pull a 3:11 out of my ass, but it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The later miles were so hard on me...and as would be customary after long hard races, I ended up vomiting for hours. Over the past 18 months, I've wondered if the vomiting after long hard/hot races had anything to do with my heart...did my heart cause my vomiting, or did the hard races/vomited contribute to my heart failure. When I met with the cardiologist at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, I was told there was NO correlation, but damn, I really pushed my body on a number of occasions, this race was one of the hardest on my body. Wouldn't wish this upon anyone...

I bring up this race not because it was fast, because it wasn't...or because I ran smart, because I didn't, but the race, the effort needed to just finish, the way the wheels completely fell off, it's a nightmare I can't wake up from!
To make matters worse, I had just turned 40 and this race was part of the MN Race Team Circuit, and I was running for Gear Running Store at the time. The team had a group of BEASTS, and I was hoping to be the 'man' at Grandma's...again, nope...didn't even score.
Ugh...let's move on, shall we?
HONORABLE MENTION
1991 was solid year for racing...I wrote about 1991 earlier in this list, but in September of 1991, living in Madison, WI, I made my way to Green Bay for the Schneider National 2 Mile/10K...I ended up running both races, because it's what Gabe would do. WWGD :)
Good crowd, maybe a few hundred...loop course with a hill at .7 mile and a downhill at roughly 1.5. 
I take it out hard, trying to separate from the field, but ran in 2nd for most of the first mile. I/we ran the 1st mile in 4:55, but I was feeling pretty springy still. A little breather on a flat before the trek down, and by now I had a bit of a gap and decided to push/roll the downhill...it felt so good to stride it out. Finished in 9:38, running mile 2 in 4:43, a time that the McMillan Running Calculator would have an equivalent 5K time of 15:53...and wouldn't you know it, just a couple of weeks later I ran 15:56! 
This was a solid race...a race that made the list because of the win, and how good I felt from the first step...and the killer trophy, back when trophies were cool...now the winner probably get's a $5 gift card to the Running Room.
Racing is a LOT of fun when you're running fast in a fast crowd...
(...also ran/paced a 35:11 10K to cool-down...because at the end of the day, WWGD?)

Finally...an update...

Has it really been over 2 months since my last post? Hmmm...seems like just yesterday...
So much life in the past 2 months...
First, can we chat for a second about the Leadville 100 MTB, the race that was supposed to be race number 3 in my Leadman quest...get that awkward 'how did Leadville go' out of the way?

This post sums it all up. 

I'm not a guy who has many regrets, as most of life is a choice, and I chose not to run/race Leadville for so many years...but looking back, I wish I had. Back in the day I feel like I could have crushed that shit! 

Not surprisingly, after the race, I was an emotional mess...something I swung at, and I know this is isn't true, but it feels like I failed. ...and what does Derek do when he feels this way? He climbs his first 14er...in heart failure. Much harder than I thought it was going to be...ugh! ...again, back in the day.

So when I got back to the Twin Cities, I needed to contact my cardiologist to let her know what I had been doing all summer and the results of said racing. Her 'not being happy' would be an understatement. Looking to keep my HR at or under 130 when exercising...yea, no, though I'm not sure how after 40 years of racing, rubbing elbows, competing, I'm supposed to just stop...it's part of me...and I LOVE to race and compete...BUT, it's gotta stop! I know, I know...

So I'm doing my best...still getting out there 5-6 days per week, but as you can imagine, it's hard. Strength on the bike is hard to find, and the running, even easy trail running at 9:30 pace, my HR wants to jump to and stay at 160...ugh. 130, remember? ...and whats up with the elliptical, HR soars when I'm on the E...I don't understand!

Let's talk doctor visit for minute, please. Looking back, I'm not sure why it took me so long to get in, or what prompted this last Right Heart Catheterization...but joy, joy. 

End of September-ish, this one went a bit different, as this time I wasn't asked to pack an overnight bag...good sign. This time I was awake in surgery...I was awake for the shots, the catheter...the fun. Once the catheter was in my neck/heart, they brought in a set of portable 'pedals' that they wanted me to pedal while laying there in this surgical room, all hooked up...WTH? I guess hoping to get a more accurate VO2 max number with the catheter in my heart. Well, I crushed it...legs finally gave out, though I gave it all I could. I thought for SURE I aced this test, because, well, because I'm Derek Lindstrom, dammit! Trophy, medal, new hospital 'record'?

Well, no. Last year when all this shit came to fruition, my VO2 max was 48, 46, then 42...now on the 'pedals', 32...even while staying fit. I just don't understand! Diet, good. Weight, rock solid. Excercise, check. WTF?

Well, Derek, she says, not the results we were looking for. My path/journey hasn't changed, and I'm hoping the timeline didn't get moved up! I can wait, thank you.

Path/journey, keep this heart as long as I can, though at some point here it will be time for the dreaded LVAD surgery. She said if all goes well with the LVAD, I should be able to stay away from a transplant for up to 5 years, however at that point, a new heart. We would obviously like to wait as long as possible before the new heart, because of my age, I'll only get 1, and life with a transplanted heart is roughly 10 years. Again, ugh.

So here I wait...not allowed to 'race', waiting for the body to deteriorate to the point of needing the LVAD...3 months, 9 months, who knows. A surgery I did NOT want a year ago, but from what I'm reading lately, once the LVAD is in and rocking, I'm going to feel amazing, and it's been a long time since I've felt 'good'.

Life has never been easy for me, but I'm doing the best I can. SO thankful for the amazing support...it is MUCH appreciated!  

ANNIVERSARY Post

An anniversary post from 1 year ago...has it been a year already? 
I'd like to think that life has changed a lot in the past year, because it has, but in some ways, it really hasn't.
My numbers haven't changed much since this post, but I'm doing a MUCH better job of coping. My VO2 Max was 46 a year ago...now it's sitting at 41, though I'm in much better shape...see where I'm going here?
It was/is a good read...I hope you enjoy!

(Tuesday evening...)
I know, I know, quit your bitching...I'm really trying to keep the blog updated, but life has plans for me most days, and frankly, the heart news is more of the same...ugh. I look forward to the day when I can talk about GREAT/NEW news...but alas, not today. 

Not sure if I posted about the heart biopsy that I went through last month...oh joy. The test for cardiac sarcoidosis came back NEGATIVE, which is grand news, though beyond that, just seems like I'm treading water, deteriorating just a tad every week. 
Test was simple in that a catheter was run up from my groin into my heart...from there they snipped a tiny sample of my heart, that's all. I was a mess for a day or 2 after that test...

So, how am I feeling? A solid C+ on most days, though I had a really hard day last Wednesday as I was really out/short of breath all day, to the point of it scaring me. 
Sitting in a movie (Mission Impossible - Fallout, thumbs up!) and at one point my breath was gone, almost to the point of gasping for air...WTF was that? By the next day I was a tad better, and by Friday...all good. I brought this up to doc, who was NOT impressed...soooo, next Monday I will be repeating the Right Heart Catheter test, looking for numbers, though as much I'd like to think that they're looking for improved numbers, I think it's more to see how much I have 'slipped' in 8+ weeks...a prep for the LVAD. Bring that shit on!
(LVAD... Left Ventricular Assist Device)

Speaking with the nurse about my appointment scheduled for Monday, she mentioned I was going to learn all about the LVAD, when/where/why. 
I did my own research (?) on the LVAD, and it's not as simple as I thought it was, it's actually open-heart surgery!  
An LVAD is a surgically implanted mechanical pump that is attached to the heart. An LVAD is different from an artificial heart...an artificial heart replaces the failing heart completely whereas an LVAD works with the heart to help it pump more blood with less work.  It does this by continuously taking blood from the left ventricle and moving it to the aorta, which then delivers oxygen-rich blood throughout the body. (Stole that last paragraph off Google...I obviously don't write THAT well!)

...oh joy. 
So, is this the next step? ...a Bridge to Transplant as it's called, or am I still months away? I guess I'll find out more at my Monday appointment...make sure to pack an overnight bag, she says...wait, what? Again, WTF!

I guess the bigger question should be, how should I be feeling? I suppose that I should assume that now that they want to chat about LVAD and transplant, that I should just wrap my mind around that...embrace the suck. But, should I be sad? Mad? ...should I be crying? I honestly don't know...in a way I feel numb...getting through life day by day, knowing what's down the road. I'm not mad, sad, crabby...just, blah. When you think about it, I should want this done sooner than later...if it's going to happen, bring that shit on NOW...recover and LIVE life!
Surviving/running/racing with an ejection fraction of less than 20% for who knows how long...just imagine the energy/power I'd have with an ejection fraction of 60+ percent...I may be able to get back my KOM (Strava King of the Mountain) crown from Game Farm Road. 
Look out, Jordan Roby...you and I...GFRoad...you may want to taper! :)
...quick back-story. I used to ride a lot out of Gear West in Long Lake, MN...Wednesday night group rides, 25 or 40 mile options. I would usually ride the 40 mile loop, because I could. There is a 3+ mile segment called Game Farm Road later in the ride, and a couple of years ago we got to the start of this section and Jordan, John W. and I just took off, 27+ mph for most of it, taking turns leading. Well, every time it was MY turn to pull, I couldn't...I'd sit back, working as hard as I could, just hanging on, letting Jordan and John do most (all) of the work. As we approached the finish, they were both peetering out, and I threw in a little push and crossed the line first, becoming KOM on the segment via Strava...averaging just shy of 25 mph. That KOM is long gone, BUT, maybe someday I'll be back and ready to toe that line once again...maybe next time I can take my turn pulling when it's time!

Break time...

(Wednesday morning...)
...another quick call from my nurse...more meds, this time to help with the quick weight gain, 8.6 pounds in 2 days? 2 words for you, CHU BBY.

I can tell I am becoming numb to all the procedures, as 2 months ago when I was scheduled for my first Right Heart Catheter test, it was a big deal...now, it's just another procedure, another surgery...again, bring that shit on...I'm Derek Lindstrom, and I can do anything!

Thoughts and prayers, please, as I begin this 'new' chapter, LVAD and transplant discussions...ugh. 

Race #14-15 COUNTDOWN

Race #14-15 COUNTDOWN
Less than a week away from the final 3 races of #Leadman. 
...am I ready? I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be. 
Had a phone interview with a nice lady today, looking to do a story about my 'journey', and one of the questions she asked really hit me...and I didn't know how to answer.
'When you're done with the series, and your running/racing is done, how are you going to feel?' ...great question. I assume I'm gonna be a puddle at the awards ceremony, maybe emotional for a couple days after, but honestly, I don't know. 
Is there going to be a 'depression' period? ...I think I'm pretty well set, knowing that this is it, and it's my path/journey, and also knowing that I am ending my racing 'career' on my terms. ...doesn't mean it's going to be easy, as training/racing has been such a big part of my life for SO long...am I ready to move on? I think so...?

Race #14: 1995 Columbus Marathon
The story begins early fall, 1995, I get a hair up my ass about wanting to run the 1996 Boston Marathon, 100th anniversary race. Well, looks like I need to qualify...but where? When? Columbus Marathon? ...honestly, looking back, I'm not sure why I picked Columbus. In 1995, there were plenty of late October marathons, all within driving range of Mankato, MN, my home at the time.
In rock solid shape in 1995, winning a number of races in MN and WI..high 15 5K shape, and training hard with Scotty, so getting ready should be fine.
Either way, Columbus it is, but work will only give me Saturday/Sunday off, having to work late on Friday and early on Monday, driving to OH on Saturday. 
...again, don't remember much about the race course, only that it was beyond cold, running in a winter hat and gloves.

I DO, however, remember how well organized the race was, and even though it was beyond chilly, great crowd support.
I think a lot of people were in town to watch the Buckeyes play, and that Saturday saw Eddie George run for an NCAA record of like 700 yards (exaggerated...).
Fell apart during the final few miles of the race, again, and finished, for the first time in a long time, OVER 3 hours, finishing 3:05:10.

I guess what I remember best about this race...after I finished, is that I grabbed a snack, walked to car...and drove home. No shower, no cool-down jog...just a quick BQ...and a quick ride home (10+ hours...). ...and yes, I was early for work the next morning.
** Signed up for Boston, but during a training run over the winter, fell on some ice and broke my elbow...so I ended up selling my bib (cool at the time...) and not running, though I'm in the results running 4:28 and change... :)

#15: Twin Cities Marathon
...not so much a 'memory', just a nice race that's in my backyard. I've run TCM numerous times, never running well there, though I've never really 'raced' TCM either...though qualified for Boston a time or 3 here. ...now I prefer to go and cheer on athletes on the course.

Races #16-20 COUNTDOWN

Races #16-20 COUNTDOWN

25 DAYS AND COUNTING...COUNTING DOWN!
This began with an idea of posting a running related story/memory/experience, 1 each day for 25 days, the 25 days leading up to the finish date of the Leadville 100 Trail Run (August 18th, 2019) ...good intentions, so limited time to research and post...but I'm trying, really.

The time spent training for #Leadman, the logistics while still trying to work and maintain relationships...has been hard. 

So, with that being said, I have posted countdown posts from #16-20 in this entry. #16 should have been posted on Saturday August 3rd, so now I'm only 3 days behind, and I'll do my best to be up-to-date before I leave for CO on Thursday...

RACE #16: You know, I could talk all day about 'pacing'... 

I have paced at so many races over the years, it really is hard to find that 'one' memory that stands out. Monster Dash, Chicago Marathon, Get Lucky, Fargo, Red White and Boom...the list goes on and on. When I was fit, I preferred to pace 1:30 or 1:35 for a half...or 3:30 for the marathon distance. 

Clif Bar Pacing, Team Ortho...made no difference...I just really enjoyed helping others hit a goal...and maybe someday I'll get back to it, but it will obviously be at a much more 'relaxed' pace.

I think back to 2002, running/racing for Gear Running Store out of Edina, MN. Their race team at the time rocked...so many fast runners. Jackson, 2:16 at Grandma's; Jason, 2:12 at the Olympic Trials; Kurt, maybe a 2:19 guy...and the gal's team was even better...a bunch of studs...and me.

Living in Woodbury, MN at the time, I'd drive over every Saturday morning for long runs around the Lakes...kept me fit, and you know how much I dislike long runs...always have. 

That Spring, there was a group of said women who were looking to run sub 3:00 at Grandma's, and I wasn't ready to pound, so I offered my pacing 'services'.

I honestly don't remember how many/or who ran in the 'group', though I remember about 7 women, including Joelle, Sonya and Laurie.

Why such a memory for me? ...race went off without a hitch...solid weather, GREAT company, I felt amazing...and we hit 6:45-6:50 miles over and over...and it was easy...just rolling.  

Finished in 2:58:54, and while I haven't seen most of those women in years, it was a great day... 

I ended up not racing much in 2002 (14 times)...just battling 'life'. I ended up running Grandma's 4, 5, 6 more times, maybe...a couple of those races make this countdown...later :)

#17: The Boston Marathon had to make this list, though honestly, I never really put it on a pedestal like most people do. The standards were always pretty easy to hit, and the race/weekend is/was SO expensive. I have run Boston more than a few times, and I guess my biggest running 'regret' is that I never 'raced' Boston back in the day...

#18: Rock and Roll Race Series...San Antonio, Vegas, Chicago Half, Mardi Gras, St. Louis, Arizona...so many races run as part of the RNR Series...most have been rock solid, whether I was racing, running or pacing.

#19: Battalion Army Party...1982. So, quick story, in the Army 1981-1983...I'm stationed in Ft. Riley, KS for a spell until I head off to Germany. Company, maybe even Battalion wide party, held in this big park right in the middle of base. 

Part of the party 'activities' included a 4 x 'around the park' relay...the park was just over a half mile around...and I was just coming off a 9:38 2 mile PT test, so I was ready to run. Captain had me anchor, and by the time I got the baton, 50+ meters behind...bring it on. 

Had a GREAT run, felt amazing, and I caught and passed the top 2 teams down the final straightaway to the delight of my Company...it was CRAZY loud, with hundreds of soldiers cheering us on down the final stretch. 

After the race, I was 'mini' celebrity for an afternoon or 2...all I needed, more people stroking my ego, as if my head wasn't big enough already!

#20: One of my most recent memories, this from this past Spring.

Lisa and I had been registered for the Hot Dash 10 Miler for no more than a few days...out for a quick training run the Tuesday before the race...easy run, and not more than 1/4 mile in, I had a little 'spell', a dizzy episode where I had some spots in my eyes and such...that old story. ...ended up finishing the 5 mile run, but when I got home, my left hand was FROZEN...even after a warm shower, ice cold. Great, now what? ...head over to the ER, again, being somewhat cavalier about the experience. ...apparently my INR level had dropped and a clot that had more than likely formed in my heart, broke free and got stuck in my arm...so they shove me in an ambulance, with a drip, and off I go, again, to the Heart Hospital. I was thinking it was going to be a quick visit, but they needed to watch my levels while on a drip, otherwise if things didn't get better, surgery, again.

Well, all better by late Thursday (...or was it Friday?) and they send me home...HUGE bullet dodged, again.

So, do I run the Hot Dash on Saturday morning? ...you bet your ass I do...and what a race! I felt good for most of it, running around 9:30 pace with Lisa, but what an emotional run. Running along the river in Minneapolis, a beautiful day, in a gorgeous city, with a beautiful woman next to me and running into numerous friends before/during and after the race...

2 days earlier I was in the hospital, dodging another bullet...on this day, beauty everywhere I looked...

Races #21 & 22 COUNTDOWN

25 DAYS AND COUNTING...COUNTING DOWN!
RACE #21

Hard to imagine that in less than 3 weeks my racing days will come to an end. ...still trying to embrace the suck, the feelings of the ending of my journey, though honestly, I'm ready... Can I do this? #Leadman...in heart failure? Damn, gonna give it my all...dig through those dark times in my final 3 races...maybe roll the dice, see what happens!
(Dark times...keep reading as I addressed dark-times on day/memory #22...)

I had great conversations with two really good friends today. Mike...hell, I've known and run against/with Mike for the better part of the past 40 years...Mike is also doing #Leadman this year (Currently in 10th place OA...) ...and Gabe, also running the Leadville 100 trail Run on August 17th/18th with Mike and I... IF I can somehow finish both the Leadville 100 MTB and the 100 trail run, my last awards ceremony as an athlete will be at noon on Sunday August 18th with 2 of my best friends...ALL wearing our finisher belt buckles...THAT'S how I want to finish this crazy running 'career'! Bring on the suck!

So let's talk about running/racing memory #21... I'm going to preface this 'story' by saying, I've met some amazing people/friends and have forged so many life-long relationships because of running/racing...and one of my best is with Dale Bahr.
When I moved to Mankato in the summer of 1993 to run for MSU, one of the first athletes I met was Dale...we clicked right away. We ended up running a LOT of miles together, and spent too many nights at the Albatross (Sorry coach...). Dale was coming off a knee injury, but the cat was a beast...DII National Champion in the indoor 800...amazing athlete...and boy could he drink, damn! ...may have gotten in trouble a time or 3 with D, but that's a story (...long story...) for another day.
So many memories with Dale...road-tripping to the UP for the Big Bay Relay (BIG win...); or our still-standing Med-City Marathon Relay course record (...run with 2 others...) ...or the time we were out running on a hot day...Dale needing to stop and poop on the side of the trail, only to wipe his a** with poison oak...he was a red/swollen mess for weeks!
But for this story, #21 on my memory list, the 1997 Trail Mix 25K, held at Hyland Park/Bloomington, MN. 
I have run TM 4-5 times...anywhere from 1:39 to 1:49...loved the race, the course...sweet shirts as well!
Dale and I, now out of college and living in Mankato, still running well, decided to test the waters at TM as we prepped for the Big Bay Relay.
Two 7.75 mile loops...rolling/soft trails. ...and Dale and I take it out hard, building a solid 1:30+ lead after the first loop. 'D, I gotta crap...'. ...seriously, Dale? Now?
Yep...off Dale heads to the restroom, conveniently located at the 1/2 way point...1 minute, 2 minutes, and as I'm watching the clock, I'm watching our 1st place turn into 3rd, 5th...and by the time Dale is 'done' and ready to run, we're in 7th place...ugh, well, let's start picking 'em off. One...there's another...2 more...and we can see the leader now, Dave Anderson, I think he was running for SDSU when we were at MSU...solid runner, but we're gaining, working hard...just not enough room. We ended up tying for 2nd place in 1:44:14...Dave running 1:43:30. 
Didn't get the win that day, and TM is a race I never won, by a 2nd place tie with Dale, I'll take it!
See you at Hairball later this summer, Dale!

...Dale and I kneeling up front. Picture is from the 1997 Big Bay Relay.

Running playlist song #21: F.O.D. - Green Day

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25 DAYS AND COUNTING...COUNTING DOWN!
RACE #22
I have been talking to friends, fellow athletes and coaches lately about the Leadville races coming up next month, and mentioning that if I have ANY chance of finishing the 2 longer races, I'm going to have to be comfortable in a 'dark' place for an extended period of time, maybe miles of 'dark'.
What is your 'dark' place? It's where you go when things get ugly, REALLY ugly.
I have been in that dark-place so many times while competing that while I wouldn't call in 'comfortable', I expect it if I want to compete... Some athletes can't get there, some are afraid to go there...others thrive and do well by going dark/deep. 
One of my former athletes, Jordan Roby, who TODAY quailified for KONA at IM Canada...BEAST...sent me a text after his huge race: 'Thanks coach! Went to a super dark place but got it done. Reminded me of Marquette...' (I added the 3 dots...). Kid is a beast, and he's a beast because he knows what to do in his dark-place... 
Where am I going with this? Wondering if I can still go deep...it's been so long since I've had to put in that type of 'dark' effort, and I'm going to need an effort like that...

Race memory #22 did NOT need that type of effort.
Funny, looking up results for this race...15 years ago, really? Doesn't seem that long ago...seems like just...well, I guess it was a long time ago.
Decided to drive to New Orleans and surprise my mom for Mother's Day in 2002...drove the 19.5 hours on Friday, getting 4 hours of sleep Friday night and scooted off to a local 5K the next morning with my sister, The Gospel and Blues Run, held in downtown New Orleans on May 15th. ...and I was tired, really tired. I wanted to race, but not really...and was quietly hoping that the field was not that competitive so I could just run 18 minutes...just doing enough to win.
Gun goes off and wouldn't you know it, there is some clown who wants to race...f***. Hoping he blew his wad in the first .5 mile and that he was just a poser...mile 1 in about 5:20...nope, what the hell, I had ZERO desire to run this fast. By 1.5 miles I realize that he wants to run...so, being tired and cranky, I start pulling from my bag of tricks. Wide road, we're all alone, I'm running right off his left hip, yet I 'accidentally' bump into the back of his elbow a time or 3, irking him, I'm sure...maybe a splash or 2 from puddles from overnight rain.
Damn, I can't shake this kid...what else can I do? Still running about 5:20-5:25 pace, and still on his left hip, I let out the Scott Steuernagel 'sigh', the 'give-up sigh', giving him the impression that I was done...he made a little move, probably too soon...I just needed to time it right, and I did, winning by a second or 2 with a furious kick. (Furious is relative...) 
I know, I'm a dick, and I do feel bad that I was a dick, but we talked after the race and I told him what I did and why, and he was cool. We went on a cool-down run together...and funny, we found each other on Facebook a few years ago...friends.
Hoping that by being friends with him now, that he crosses me off the 'list', similar to the 'list' Steve Buscemi had in the movie Billy Madison, right before he applies that awful shade of lipstick.

Why did this 5K race make the list? I've run/raced 100's of 5K's, winning more than my share. This race was an experience and part of my journey... Having run so many races/5K's, I honestly don't remember a lot of them, though looking back at this race, it was a win, it was an amazing weekend with family...and it makes a for great story, especially after 3 shots of Goldschlager...

Honorable Mention...tired, not today. 

Running playlist song #22: Sandstorm - Darude