So much life in the past 2 months...
First, can we chat for a second about the Leadville 100 MTB, the race that was supposed to be race number 3 in my Leadman quest...get that awkward 'how did Leadville go' out of the way?
This post sums it all up.
I'm not a guy who has many regrets, as most of life is a choice, and I chose not to run/race Leadville for so many years...but looking back, I wish I had. Back in the day I feel like I could have crushed that shit!
Not surprisingly, after the race, I was an emotional mess...something I swung at, and I know this is isn't true, but it feels like I failed. ...and what does Derek do when he feels this way? He climbs his first 14er...in heart failure. Much harder than I thought it was going to be...ugh! ...again, back in the day.
So when I got back to the Twin Cities, I needed to contact my cardiologist to let her know what I had been doing all summer and the results of said racing. Her 'not being happy' would be an understatement. Looking to keep my HR at or under 130 when exercising...yea, no, though I'm not sure how after 40 years of racing, rubbing elbows, competing, I'm supposed to just stop...it's part of me...and I LOVE to race and compete...BUT, it's gotta stop! I know, I know...
So I'm doing my best...still getting out there 5-6 days per week, but as you can imagine, it's hard. Strength on the bike is hard to find, and the running, even easy trail running at 9:30 pace, my HR wants to jump to and stay at 160...ugh. 130, remember? ...and whats up with the elliptical, HR soars when I'm on the E...I don't understand!
Let's talk doctor visit for minute, please. Looking back, I'm not sure why it took me so long to get in, or what prompted this last Right Heart Catheterization...but joy, joy.
End of September-ish, this one went a bit different, as this time I wasn't asked to pack an overnight bag...good sign. This time I was awake in surgery...I was awake for the shots, the catheter...the fun. Once the catheter was in my neck/heart, they brought in a set of portable 'pedals' that they wanted me to pedal while laying there in this surgical room, all hooked up...WTH? I guess hoping to get a more accurate VO2 max number with the catheter in my heart. Well, I crushed it...legs finally gave out, though I gave it all I could. I thought for SURE I aced this test, because, well, because I'm Derek Lindstrom, dammit! Trophy, medal, new hospital 'record'?
Well, no. Last year when all this shit came to fruition, my VO2 max was 48, 46, then 42...now on the 'pedals', 32...even while staying fit. I just don't understand! Diet, good. Weight, rock solid. Excercise, check. WTF?
Well, Derek, she says, not the results we were looking for. My path/journey hasn't changed, and I'm hoping the timeline didn't get moved up! I can wait, thank you.
Path/journey, keep this heart as long as I can, though at some point here it will be time for the dreaded LVAD surgery. She said if all goes well with the LVAD, I should be able to stay away from a transplant for up to 5 years, however at that point, a new heart. We would obviously like to wait as long as possible before the new heart, because of my age, I'll only get 1, and life with a transplanted heart is roughly 10 years. Again, ugh.
So here I wait...not allowed to 'race', waiting for the body to deteriorate to the point of needing the LVAD...3 months, 9 months, who knows. A surgery I did NOT want a year ago, but from what I'm reading lately, once the LVAD is in and rocking, I'm going to feel amazing, and it's been a long time since I've felt 'good'.
Life has never been easy for me, but I'm doing the best I can. SO thankful for the amazing support...it is MUCH appreciated!
