ANNIVERSARY Post

An anniversary post from 1 year ago...has it been a year already? 
I'd like to think that life has changed a lot in the past year, because it has, but in some ways, it really hasn't.
My numbers haven't changed much since this post, but I'm doing a MUCH better job of coping. My VO2 Max was 46 a year ago...now it's sitting at 41, though I'm in much better shape...see where I'm going here?
It was/is a good read...I hope you enjoy!

(Tuesday evening...)
I know, I know, quit your bitching...I'm really trying to keep the blog updated, but life has plans for me most days, and frankly, the heart news is more of the same...ugh. I look forward to the day when I can talk about GREAT/NEW news...but alas, not today. 

Not sure if I posted about the heart biopsy that I went through last month...oh joy. The test for cardiac sarcoidosis came back NEGATIVE, which is grand news, though beyond that, just seems like I'm treading water, deteriorating just a tad every week. 
Test was simple in that a catheter was run up from my groin into my heart...from there they snipped a tiny sample of my heart, that's all. I was a mess for a day or 2 after that test...

So, how am I feeling? A solid C+ on most days, though I had a really hard day last Wednesday as I was really out/short of breath all day, to the point of it scaring me. 
Sitting in a movie (Mission Impossible - Fallout, thumbs up!) and at one point my breath was gone, almost to the point of gasping for air...WTF was that? By the next day I was a tad better, and by Friday...all good. I brought this up to doc, who was NOT impressed...soooo, next Monday I will be repeating the Right Heart Catheter test, looking for numbers, though as much I'd like to think that they're looking for improved numbers, I think it's more to see how much I have 'slipped' in 8+ weeks...a prep for the LVAD. Bring that shit on!
(LVAD... Left Ventricular Assist Device)

Speaking with the nurse about my appointment scheduled for Monday, she mentioned I was going to learn all about the LVAD, when/where/why. 
I did my own research (?) on the LVAD, and it's not as simple as I thought it was, it's actually open-heart surgery!  
An LVAD is a surgically implanted mechanical pump that is attached to the heart. An LVAD is different from an artificial heart...an artificial heart replaces the failing heart completely whereas an LVAD works with the heart to help it pump more blood with less work.  It does this by continuously taking blood from the left ventricle and moving it to the aorta, which then delivers oxygen-rich blood throughout the body. (Stole that last paragraph off Google...I obviously don't write THAT well!)

...oh joy. 
So, is this the next step? ...a Bridge to Transplant as it's called, or am I still months away? I guess I'll find out more at my Monday appointment...make sure to pack an overnight bag, she says...wait, what? Again, WTF!

I guess the bigger question should be, how should I be feeling? I suppose that I should assume that now that they want to chat about LVAD and transplant, that I should just wrap my mind around that...embrace the suck. But, should I be sad? Mad? ...should I be crying? I honestly don't know...in a way I feel numb...getting through life day by day, knowing what's down the road. I'm not mad, sad, crabby...just, blah. When you think about it, I should want this done sooner than later...if it's going to happen, bring that shit on NOW...recover and LIVE life!
Surviving/running/racing with an ejection fraction of less than 20% for who knows how long...just imagine the energy/power I'd have with an ejection fraction of 60+ percent...I may be able to get back my KOM (Strava King of the Mountain) crown from Game Farm Road. 
Look out, Jordan Roby...you and I...GFRoad...you may want to taper! :)
...quick back-story. I used to ride a lot out of Gear West in Long Lake, MN...Wednesday night group rides, 25 or 40 mile options. I would usually ride the 40 mile loop, because I could. There is a 3+ mile segment called Game Farm Road later in the ride, and a couple of years ago we got to the start of this section and Jordan, John W. and I just took off, 27+ mph for most of it, taking turns leading. Well, every time it was MY turn to pull, I couldn't...I'd sit back, working as hard as I could, just hanging on, letting Jordan and John do most (all) of the work. As we approached the finish, they were both peetering out, and I threw in a little push and crossed the line first, becoming KOM on the segment via Strava...averaging just shy of 25 mph. That KOM is long gone, BUT, maybe someday I'll be back and ready to toe that line once again...maybe next time I can take my turn pulling when it's time!

Break time...

(Wednesday morning...)
...another quick call from my nurse...more meds, this time to help with the quick weight gain, 8.6 pounds in 2 days? 2 words for you, CHU BBY.

I can tell I am becoming numb to all the procedures, as 2 months ago when I was scheduled for my first Right Heart Catheter test, it was a big deal...now, it's just another procedure, another surgery...again, bring that shit on...I'm Derek Lindstrom, and I can do anything!

Thoughts and prayers, please, as I begin this 'new' chapter, LVAD and transplant discussions...ugh. 

Race #14-15 COUNTDOWN

Race #14-15 COUNTDOWN
Less than a week away from the final 3 races of #Leadman. 
...am I ready? I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be. 
Had a phone interview with a nice lady today, looking to do a story about my 'journey', and one of the questions she asked really hit me...and I didn't know how to answer.
'When you're done with the series, and your running/racing is done, how are you going to feel?' ...great question. I assume I'm gonna be a puddle at the awards ceremony, maybe emotional for a couple days after, but honestly, I don't know. 
Is there going to be a 'depression' period? ...I think I'm pretty well set, knowing that this is it, and it's my path/journey, and also knowing that I am ending my racing 'career' on my terms. ...doesn't mean it's going to be easy, as training/racing has been such a big part of my life for SO long...am I ready to move on? I think so...?

Race #14: 1995 Columbus Marathon
The story begins early fall, 1995, I get a hair up my ass about wanting to run the 1996 Boston Marathon, 100th anniversary race. Well, looks like I need to qualify...but where? When? Columbus Marathon? ...honestly, looking back, I'm not sure why I picked Columbus. In 1995, there were plenty of late October marathons, all within driving range of Mankato, MN, my home at the time.
In rock solid shape in 1995, winning a number of races in MN and WI..high 15 5K shape, and training hard with Scotty, so getting ready should be fine.
Either way, Columbus it is, but work will only give me Saturday/Sunday off, having to work late on Friday and early on Monday, driving to OH on Saturday. 
...again, don't remember much about the race course, only that it was beyond cold, running in a winter hat and gloves.

I DO, however, remember how well organized the race was, and even though it was beyond chilly, great crowd support.
I think a lot of people were in town to watch the Buckeyes play, and that Saturday saw Eddie George run for an NCAA record of like 700 yards (exaggerated...).
Fell apart during the final few miles of the race, again, and finished, for the first time in a long time, OVER 3 hours, finishing 3:05:10.

I guess what I remember best about this race...after I finished, is that I grabbed a snack, walked to car...and drove home. No shower, no cool-down jog...just a quick BQ...and a quick ride home (10+ hours...). ...and yes, I was early for work the next morning.
** Signed up for Boston, but during a training run over the winter, fell on some ice and broke my elbow...so I ended up selling my bib (cool at the time...) and not running, though I'm in the results running 4:28 and change... :)

#15: Twin Cities Marathon
...not so much a 'memory', just a nice race that's in my backyard. I've run TCM numerous times, never running well there, though I've never really 'raced' TCM either...though qualified for Boston a time or 3 here. ...now I prefer to go and cheer on athletes on the course.

Races #16-20 COUNTDOWN

Races #16-20 COUNTDOWN

25 DAYS AND COUNTING...COUNTING DOWN!
This began with an idea of posting a running related story/memory/experience, 1 each day for 25 days, the 25 days leading up to the finish date of the Leadville 100 Trail Run (August 18th, 2019) ...good intentions, so limited time to research and post...but I'm trying, really.

The time spent training for #Leadman, the logistics while still trying to work and maintain relationships...has been hard. 

So, with that being said, I have posted countdown posts from #16-20 in this entry. #16 should have been posted on Saturday August 3rd, so now I'm only 3 days behind, and I'll do my best to be up-to-date before I leave for CO on Thursday...

RACE #16: You know, I could talk all day about 'pacing'... 

I have paced at so many races over the years, it really is hard to find that 'one' memory that stands out. Monster Dash, Chicago Marathon, Get Lucky, Fargo, Red White and Boom...the list goes on and on. When I was fit, I preferred to pace 1:30 or 1:35 for a half...or 3:30 for the marathon distance. 

Clif Bar Pacing, Team Ortho...made no difference...I just really enjoyed helping others hit a goal...and maybe someday I'll get back to it, but it will obviously be at a much more 'relaxed' pace.

I think back to 2002, running/racing for Gear Running Store out of Edina, MN. Their race team at the time rocked...so many fast runners. Jackson, 2:16 at Grandma's; Jason, 2:12 at the Olympic Trials; Kurt, maybe a 2:19 guy...and the gal's team was even better...a bunch of studs...and me.

Living in Woodbury, MN at the time, I'd drive over every Saturday morning for long runs around the Lakes...kept me fit, and you know how much I dislike long runs...always have. 

That Spring, there was a group of said women who were looking to run sub 3:00 at Grandma's, and I wasn't ready to pound, so I offered my pacing 'services'.

I honestly don't remember how many/or who ran in the 'group', though I remember about 7 women, including Joelle, Sonya and Laurie.

Why such a memory for me? ...race went off without a hitch...solid weather, GREAT company, I felt amazing...and we hit 6:45-6:50 miles over and over...and it was easy...just rolling.  

Finished in 2:58:54, and while I haven't seen most of those women in years, it was a great day... 

I ended up not racing much in 2002 (14 times)...just battling 'life'. I ended up running Grandma's 4, 5, 6 more times, maybe...a couple of those races make this countdown...later :)

#17: The Boston Marathon had to make this list, though honestly, I never really put it on a pedestal like most people do. The standards were always pretty easy to hit, and the race/weekend is/was SO expensive. I have run Boston more than a few times, and I guess my biggest running 'regret' is that I never 'raced' Boston back in the day...

#18: Rock and Roll Race Series...San Antonio, Vegas, Chicago Half, Mardi Gras, St. Louis, Arizona...so many races run as part of the RNR Series...most have been rock solid, whether I was racing, running or pacing.

#19: Battalion Army Party...1982. So, quick story, in the Army 1981-1983...I'm stationed in Ft. Riley, KS for a spell until I head off to Germany. Company, maybe even Battalion wide party, held in this big park right in the middle of base. 

Part of the party 'activities' included a 4 x 'around the park' relay...the park was just over a half mile around...and I was just coming off a 9:38 2 mile PT test, so I was ready to run. Captain had me anchor, and by the time I got the baton, 50+ meters behind...bring it on. 

Had a GREAT run, felt amazing, and I caught and passed the top 2 teams down the final straightaway to the delight of my Company...it was CRAZY loud, with hundreds of soldiers cheering us on down the final stretch. 

After the race, I was 'mini' celebrity for an afternoon or 2...all I needed, more people stroking my ego, as if my head wasn't big enough already!

#20: One of my most recent memories, this from this past Spring.

Lisa and I had been registered for the Hot Dash 10 Miler for no more than a few days...out for a quick training run the Tuesday before the race...easy run, and not more than 1/4 mile in, I had a little 'spell', a dizzy episode where I had some spots in my eyes and such...that old story. ...ended up finishing the 5 mile run, but when I got home, my left hand was FROZEN...even after a warm shower, ice cold. Great, now what? ...head over to the ER, again, being somewhat cavalier about the experience. ...apparently my INR level had dropped and a clot that had more than likely formed in my heart, broke free and got stuck in my arm...so they shove me in an ambulance, with a drip, and off I go, again, to the Heart Hospital. I was thinking it was going to be a quick visit, but they needed to watch my levels while on a drip, otherwise if things didn't get better, surgery, again.

Well, all better by late Thursday (...or was it Friday?) and they send me home...HUGE bullet dodged, again.

So, do I run the Hot Dash on Saturday morning? ...you bet your ass I do...and what a race! I felt good for most of it, running around 9:30 pace with Lisa, but what an emotional run. Running along the river in Minneapolis, a beautiful day, in a gorgeous city, with a beautiful woman next to me and running into numerous friends before/during and after the race...

2 days earlier I was in the hospital, dodging another bullet...on this day, beauty everywhere I looked...